i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I think I just sharted jello shots
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
