Please, let me fuck your mom
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
