drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She bit a glass in half.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
