i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
