Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
