Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
