it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
well you can't waste a boner
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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