But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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