i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
