explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
