Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
We need a shit load of segways right now
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
