real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
