who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Drake has all the answers
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
