i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
