Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
