i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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