i just wanna soil my oats bro
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
