I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
