All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
