Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Are my feet made of real feet?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
