If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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