I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
