i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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