i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
