I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
