Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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