I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
