His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You have to summon your inner elephant
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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