absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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