Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
