that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
