you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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