My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
