Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
