So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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