making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
