he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Can Purell be used as lube?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Randomize
