Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I need to sanitize my soul.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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