My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
