I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
