i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
