All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
