I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
