What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
