i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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