East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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