there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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