Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
