At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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