you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
