dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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